October 30, 2011

What to wear ...

Grace went shoe shopping in The Wife's side of the closet. Like many women, she's practicing being indecisive about her outfit.

October 29, 2011

Van Love

I have a confession.

I love my minivan.

Weird, right?

I mean, what self-respecting man would ever say such a thing? Minivans are for soccer moms. Minivans aren't for Marines.

These were all thoughts that went through my head when The Wife and I started talking about a new vehicle. Our crossover wasn't going to cut it. As comfortable as it was for the three of us, there was no way to get two rear-facing car seats in it. "Knees in chest" is not my preferred driving style. We needed a baby hauler, a third row for any future additions, and space for the dog when he tags along. A minivan seemed to be the answer. But ... ick.

For years the minivan was a neglected vehicle class by automakers. It was on their lots for those who wanted function and didn't care about sexy. But today's car buyer wants sexy. Sex sells.

It took until 2011 for automakers to finally realized this. A few clever re-designs and funny ads later I - like many cool dads - was hooked. A minivan was the answer.

The salesman was a little surprised when I didn't want to take it out for a test drive, but really, who buys a minivan for its stellar handling? It's a minivan, not a Porsche.

The offer I did take him up on was the half-hour class about how to operate the features. What we wound up purchasing was a computer with four wheels. After learning about Bluetooth, touchscreens, back-up cameras, climate zones, and steering wheel controls I thought I was ready.

That is until I got home and started flipping through the owner's manual. I am not exaggerating when I say that 50 pages are dedicated to how to open, close, lock and unlock the doors. I'm only exaggerating a little when I say there's a trillion different ways to do all this. Each way relies on technology. Power sliding this, and abracadabra that. I don't even need to pull out a key to unlock the door. I just grab the handle and the van knows it's me. It cheerfully beeps and unlocks. Quite fancy. I'm not looking forward to the day after the warranty runs out. I'm not positive, but I'm guessing if that feature breaks it's gonna cost me a lot. I think if anything breaks, it's gonna cost me.

But in the meantime, I'm going to continue to love the comfortable ride, the space, and all the convenient features of my well-designed minivan. We dads no longer have to hang our heads in shame when we drive around.

We can drive with our dignity restored!

We can finally be proud! 

We can give each other little waves when we pass each other, like Jeep owners and motorcycle riders!

That might be going a bit too far.

But I love my minivan, and I'm not afraid to admit it.

October 27, 2011

Sleepy time

If I had to rank which dad jobs are my favorite, near the top of my list would be nighttime reader/tucker-inner.

As Timothy gets older, I'm sure he'll be a part of my nightly routine, but right now it's a wonderful bonding time with my daughter. She loves her sleep, but she also loves the build up to when she gets to close her eyes.

Once she's in her pajamas we sit in the chair in her room. After snuggling in with me, she clutches on to her favorite blanket with one hand, grabs an end with another, and sticks her thumb in her mouth. (And, yes, I know thumb sucking is bad, it'll make her teeth crooked, blah, blah, blah. We all have our vices, we go easy on her on this one.) I ask her what book she wants to read, which begins the process of deciphering what she wants. There's a code:

"Mooooon" - Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown
"Aaa Bee Cee's" - Max's ABC's by Rosemary Wells
"Much" - Guess How Much I Love You by Sam McBratney
"Manger" - An illustrated board book of Away in the Manger
"Pookie" - Night, Night Little Pookie by Sandra Boynton
"Time" - Pajama Time! by Sandra Boynton
"Mickey" - On the Go with Mickey Mouse by Disney
"Boom" - Mr. Brown's Book of Wonderful Noises by Dr. Seuss

Thankfully, I've mastered the code. It took me awhile, but after trial and error and her improving speech, I can tell what she wants. Heaven forbid you pull the wrong book out of the basket. There's no fooling Grace. If she says "Much" and I pull out "Moon," she will shove the garbage that is "Moon" away and repeat "Much, much, much, much, much" until she gets to hear the tale of Big Nutbrown Hare and Little Nutbrown Hare.  Once I'm finished, she'll say "one mooore," while holding up a finger. That one usually is "Moon." How quickly she forgets.

But we don't just read two books, Daddy's nighttime routine includes THREE classic tales. Recently, number three has been "Mickey."

But no matter the book, the cutest thing about reading to her is that she knows the stories by heart. If I leave the last word off a sentence, she'll finish it. Doesn't matter what book or what sentence. She'll make all the noises along with Dr. Seuss's Mr. Brown. It's fun to watch.

After books, comes night-night kisses where she insists on pointing out, naming, and kissing my nose, eyes, hair, ears, mouth, and mole (I know that last one is weird, and I'm not sure why she picked up on it). Then it's "one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go!" as I swing her into her crib. I hand her her stuffed bear, and cover her with her blanket. I give her one final peck on the forehead and say "Night nights Grace. Sleep tight. I love you."

As I walk away, turn out the light and start closing the door, I'll usually hear back "Night nights Daddy. Vuvv ooh." And that makes my day.

October 25, 2011

Adult Conversations

I am one of those parents. It's not that I planned on it, wanted to, or can change. But I have become one of them. When talking with other adults, including my wife, I can only talk about my kids, parenting techniques, and the finer points of baby bodily functions.

I simply do not possess the capability to hold a conversation for any length of time about anything else. Take, for example, sports. We watch them in this household on a regular basis. We root for the home team. We even catch the occasional SportsCenter. I should know enough to hold a five-minute conversation about last night's game. However it goes more like this:

Coworker: Did you catch the ball game last night?

Me: Sure did. Great game.

Coworker: How about that homerun in the seventh!

Me: Oh yeah, it was awesome. As soon as it happened Grace did the cutest thing! She heard the crowed cheering on TV and started to clap and cheer herself. We love that she enjoys sports so much. We're such cool parents!

Coworker:

Me: We even had Timothy in a baseball-themed onesie. That is, until he soaked it so much with drool we had to change him.

Coworker:

Me:

And that's about how the conversation ends for me. Awkward silence. Fortunately for the coworker, someone else usually overhears the attempted conversation and jumps in to rescue him with batting average stats, the amazing performance by the relief pitcher, and the lousy ump.

Talking with fellow parents isn't so bad. It seems we're all stuck in the same conversation rut. However my wife and I still have friends who don't have kids yet. Thankfully, they're nice enough to still call us to get together, but I can't imagine how boring we sound.

If you think I'm complaining about all this, I'm really not. I love talking about my kids. Besides my faith, I'm finally passionate about something to the point I can talk about it all the time and not get bored. Good for me. Maybe not so much for you.

October 23, 2011

"Trunk or Treat" - the Halloween alternative

Ahh ... a quiet moment.

For the next couple weeks we have family in town, which is great, but it also means there will be four kids under four demanding attention. The house is certainly buzzing with activity - meals, crafts, running around (with the occasional slip, fall and tears), story time, snack time - and they just got in last night! The Wife and I say we want 5 kids, and this is sort of like saying, "Are you sure?"

Actually, I like the noise and the activity. Toddlers are fun to watch, and when you get a bunch of them together they wear themselves out. As long as they aren't beating each other or the dog up, the parent becomes more of a supervisor than a participant - so it's break of sorts. The endless games of "Ring Around the Rosie" are delegated to someone else!

What I really wanted to write about are our upcoming Halloween plans. I've never been a big fan of the holiday, honestly (Except the year I dressed up like a scarecrow. I sat motionless on the porch with a bowl of candy sitting near me. Every time someone would come up and grab for the candy, I'd grab them. Good times. Highly recommended.). So this year we're doing something a little different: Trunk or Treat.

This Trunk or Treat is at our church. Volunteers decorate their cars and minivans and the kids go to each trunk for candy. Many families also have some sort of game or activity (bean bag toss, mini basketball hoop, etc.) set up. I'm told last year over 1,500 kids came. It's a great idea because everyone can still dress in costume, get TONS of candy, and it's safer than going door to door.

I'll be sure to post pictures of our little cow and monkey. I won't post pictures of me stealing all of their peanut butter cups.

October 21, 2011

How we raise them

Every day I pray for my children. I thank God for the opportunity to raise and teach them, and for the blessing they are in our lives. With this blessing, as many of you with children already know, comes a huge responsibility.

Because of that responsibility, I pray for God's wisdom concerning decisions my wife and I make in raising them. I'm very aware that we are laying a foundation now that we will build on for years to come. The strength of that foundation will determine their ability to navigate through life and remain standing.

Part of building their foundations is simple stuff like watching our language and speaking politely to each other. But some things are a little harder - the impulsive reactions we have. Like how I react sometimes when a driver cuts me off or if I yell at the dog for barking at the cats that like to cut through our yard.

I don't always think about it in the heat of the moment, but our kids see our reactions and they remember. Grace is a mimicker now, and she'll copy just about anything we do - good and bad.

As Christian parents we've made a commitment to raising Christian children, and while actions alone don't mean salvation, they certainly leave impressions with other people about how you live. Right or wrong, I know I've made my own determination about people who claim they are Christians and do things like use profanity like it's punctuation. I'm sure I've done things in my life (and probably recently) that leave people questioning my heart. As a parent I feel I need to be even more careful about how I handle things - with my children around me or not.

All this came to mind as I read my morning devotional, My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers. October 21st's entry is titled "Impulsiveness or Dicipleship?" Here's a quick excerpt:

"There was nothing of the nature of impulsive or thoughtless action about our Lord, but only a calm strength that never got into a panic. Most of us develop our Christianity along the lines of our own nature, not along the lines of God's nature. Impulsiveness is a trait of the natural life, and our Lord always ignores it, because it hinders the development of the life of a disciple."

There are may ways that can be interpreted and applied, but read through the lens of a parent, I must constantly check myself to make sure I'm reacting to situations or making decisions the way God wants me to.

After all, these really aren't our children. Their God's children. He's just letting us hold on to them for a little while, but it's up to us to make sure He gets them back.

October 17, 2011

Milestones

I love milestones.

Love may be an understatement. I'm the guy who celebrates every time my truck's odometer shows a number with a bunch of zeros after it. Needless to say, 50,000 miles was a big day for me and my Ford. But as I've become a softie I've realized there are milestones that bring me much more joy.

My son rolled over for the first time tonight, and The Wife and I were there to witness it. Well, technically we missed the first time. He was in his crib taking a nap and woke himself up by rolling over. Wanting to see if it was just a fluke, we promptly picked him up, placed him on his belly time mat, and waited. It didn't take long before he was on his back again. So we saw the SECOND time he's ever rolled over. Still very cool.

Non-parent readers are probably less than impressed with our child's accomplishment and wondering why I'm even mentioning a feat 99% of humans can do. That's fine. I understand. My wife rolls her eyes every time I point out a mileage milestone. She thinks they're ridiculous.

To me, milestones like Timothy's, or Grace starting to count to 10 on her own are a big deal. Our kids are learning and growing, and it's fun to watch. As a Marine who has to deploy the only thing I don't love is knowing it's likely I am going to miss some of these moments.

I am going to cherish each one.

October 15, 2011

What I've learned

After being at this dad gig for exactly 20 months, I'm amazed at how I've changed as a person and what I've learned about myself and life everyday.
  • I can change a diaper one-handed (while balancing the child between two sinks in a restaurant men's room, cursing the fact that they only installed a changing station in the women's restroom, praying to God I don't drop her).
  • Girl diapers are easier to change than boy diapers.
  • I can talk about poo with a straight face now. 
  • I can get poo on my hands and not freak out.
  • Kids are the ultimate cure. Seeing them smile makes even the worst day not so bad.
  • I have a sixth sense that allows me to dodge toys on the floor in the middle of the night.
  • I'm a softie.
  • I have the ability to read the same book 400 times with the same enthusiasm and inflection I did the first time I read it.
  • My child's reactions make reading the same book 400 times tolerable.
  • My heart grows to accommodate the love I have.
  • I am not the most important person.
  • Leaving for work in the morning is tougher, coming home is sweeter.
  • I better understand God's unconditional love for His children.
  • There is nothing sweeter than an infant's coo or a toddler saying the words "vuv oo Daddi."
  • A child sleeping on your chest is a great feeling.
  • A tiny hand wrapped around your finger is also a great feeling.
  • I will sacrifice my dignity for my children's amusement.
The list goes on, but you get the idea.

Honestly, when I first found out The Wife was pregnant with our first child I wasn't sure if I was ready to be a dad. I was recently back from my deployment to Afghanistan. We had only been married a little over a year, and I was gone for half that time. I was selfish and wanted her all to myself. I knew her getting pregnant was a possibility, it just became a reality much quicker than we expected. Plus, how would I be as a dad? Was I up to filling one of the most important roles I'll ever fill?

That's probably the biggest lesson I've learned so far: That God sometimes puts us way out of our comfort zone so we can grow. He felt I was ready, and that had to be good enough for me.

Twenty months in, and God was right. I was ready, and I've grown a lot. I've realized most of my anxiety came from the fear of the unknown. Instinct kicks in more often than not, and if I'm really stuck, The Wife has the answer.

October 14, 2011

Beginnings

I had higher expectations for my first post.

I wanted it to grab your attention, set the tone, and leave you with a warm and fuzzy first impression. Instead, my creativity was stunted by the need to suction the snot out of my three-month-old son's nose. And the longer I sit here, the more my daughter's desire to mash the computer keys grows. I've got to make this quick.

This blog is the product of a need for a creative outlet. I'm plenty busy, so the decision to add another commitment wasn't made lightly. My only expectation is that I want this be a place for me to write down the thoughts in my head as I learn how to balance being a husband, father, and Marine. It's also an archive for my children to read someday to answer burning questions like where they got their weird senses of humor (me), lack of rhythm (me), and insanely good looks (their mother).

Here we go ...