What I've learned

After being at this dad gig for exactly 20 months, I'm amazed at how I've changed as a person and what I've learned about myself and life everyday.

• I can change a diaper one-handed (while balancing the child between two sinks in a restaurant men's room, cursing the fact that they only installed a changing station in the women's restroom, praying to God I don't drop her).
• Girl diapers are easier to change than boy diapers.
• I can talk about poo with a straight face now. 
• I can get poo on my hands and not freak out.
• Kids are the ultimate cure. Seeing them smile makes even the worst day not so bad.
• I have a sixth sense that allows me to dodge toys on the floor in the middle of the night.
• I'm a softie.
• I have the ability to read the same book 400 times with the same enthusiasm and inflection I did the first time I read it.
• My child's reactions make reading the same book 400 times tolerable.
• My heart grows to accommodate the love I have.
• I am not the most important person.
• Leaving for work in the morning is tougher, coming home is sweeter.
• I better understand God's unconditional love for His children.
• There is nothing sweeter than an infant's coo or a toddler saying the words "vuv oo Daddi."
• A child sleeping on your chest is a great feeling.
• A tiny hand wrapped around your finger is also a great feeling.
• I will sacrifice my dignity for my children's amusement.

The list goes on, but you get the idea.

Honestly, when I first found out The Wife was pregnant with our first child I wasn't sure if I was ready to be a dad. I was recently back from my deployment to Afghanistan. We had only been married a little over a year, and I was gone for half that time. I was selfish and wanted her all to myself. I knew her getting pregnant was a possibility, it just became a reality much quicker than we expected. Plus, how would I be as a dad? Was I up to filling one of the most important roles I'll ever fill?

That's probably the biggest lesson I've learned so far: That God sometimes puts us way out of our comfort zone so we can grow. He felt I was ready, and that had to be good enough for me.

Twenty months in, and God was right. I was ready, and I've grown a lot. I've realized most of my anxiety came from the fear of the unknown. Instinct kicks in more often than not, and if I'm really stuck, The Wife has the answer.