Dadalogue Deployed: Another week down

Another week down in Afghanistan.

In some respects the days seem to be going by faster. This week and the last have flown by. In other respects it seems like I’ve been here an eternity. The reality is it’s only been 2 months.

I think this phenomenon comes depending on what time of day it is. If it’s the day time, and I’m working, I stay so busy and focused that when I look up, 12 hours have passed. I go back to my tent, hop on FaceTime (when the Internet cooperates) and try talking with the wife and kids.

I see Grace dancing around the house, singing songs, and talking a mile a minute. Her vocabulary and ability to communicate is far more advanced then when I last saw her. Timothy, the little baby boy I held in my arms and who did little more than slept all day, is now crawling and trying to keep up with his big sister. He’s not so little anymore. Grace looks more and more like a little lady and less like a baby every time I see her on during video chats. Timothy waves and sits up on his own and feeds himself.

Two months. And that’s all happened.

It is fun to watch though. The Wife has sent plenty of pictures and videos. She even caught Timothy’s first crawl on video. Even though I wasn’t there, I was still happy to be able to see it. I probably watched that short clip a dozen times when I first got it. Way to go, kiddo!

Yes, my family is doing great things. Growing, learning, and handling the separation as well as anyone could expect. True, I am a little jealous that I’m physically not there to see everything happen and be a direct part in it, but I am happy that time hasn’t stood still either – everyone is trying to be as normal as possible.

I just hope though that when I close my eyes tonight and wake up tomorrow, 10 months will have passed.

What I miss as a dad separated from his family

Do you know what the best thing about being away from your family is?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

At first, the idea of some peace and quiet was nice. A stay-cation of sorts. I could be on my own schedule, and watch what I wanted on TV. No more Yo Gabba Gabba for this dad. I could eat peanut butter straight out of the jar. I didn't have to wake up in the middle of the night for anything. I could let the dishes sit in the sink. There was no one to tell me what to do. This was all pretty cool.

For like an hour.

After that, I started craving things like a little girl running into the room with her blanket to climb up and snuggle on the couch with me. I crave giggles, smiles, laughs, coos, and yes, even crying. I crave my old routine. I crave reading the same book three times in a row before bed. I crave Goodnight Moon and goodnight kisses. I crave hugs. I crave little babies sleeping in my arms. I crave changing diapers. Well, lets be honest, maybe not that. I could do without changing diapers. But I crave those little ones that make such big messes. I crave hearing battery-operated children's toys that sing the ABC's and count to ten in Spanish. I crave talking to my wife face to face. I crave holding her hand. I crave seeing her when I walk in the door coming home from work. I crave having her close at night. I crave her poking me awake to go rock our son back to sleep. I crave giving her sleepy head a goodbye kiss in the morning. I crave leftovers for lunch.

I crave what I'm missing.

On my way to work I got a call from The Wife and Grace. Our almost two-year-old was excited to tell me that she "went pee pee in the potty." This was a first. I, of course, want to be there for that. Or at least hear about it in person. But, that's obviously not possible. I can't stop time. I can't tell Grace to stay little until I get back. I can't tell Timothy to not crawl and walk until I can cheer him on. I have to encourage them and cheer them on over the phone or through the computer.

Those video chats we do regularly keep me smiling. My daughter is learning quickly how to interact with me over the computer. We laugh and giggle and act silly just like if we were together. She couldn't wait to show me how she does the Hokey Pokey. Timothy is learning how to wave and clap. It's all fun to watch, and those chats are the highlight of my day.

But of course, there are dinners to make, baths to be had, and bedtime for little ones. The call has to end at some point. And when it does, our now empty house is once again quiet. And I go back to eating peanut butter straight from the jar.