Dadalogue on the Road: Day 5

Thankfully, this was an easy day.  The night, once again, not so much.

We all slept in (including Timothy!), had a leisurely morning at the hotel, and got on the road by 11. We were in Cincinnati before dinner. Originally we had planned to make it all the way from Nashville to Grandma's house outside of Cleveland, but after several long days in the car another 12 hours in the car would have made us go completely nuts.

So with the extra day, it's only a four-hour drive before my grandma will get to see her great grandkids. She hasn't seen Grace since she was 6 months old, and she's never met Timothy, so I'm looking forward to that.

So about last night. It must be hotel rooms and the fact we are all in the same space that has made Grace a terror at night recently. It's late. We all want to sleep. We start our quiet time night routine, and she decides to freak out. It's a good thing this hotel was practically deserted because if anyone else heard her crying and screaming it probably would've warranted a visit from the cops - or worse - child protective services.

However, the only crime committed was Daddy was reading and singing to her, not Mommy. All she wanted was Mommy. Until Mommy held her. Then all she wanted was Daddy. We couldn't win, but we did eventually get her somewhat consoled, so we put her in her pack and play.

Bad idea. The screaming came back with a vengeance. Since there really was no one else around we decided to let her cry it out. Another bad idea. She has more endurance than we do plus it woke Timothy up. Twenty minutes later, into our bed she came. Finally, completely exhausted, she passed out between us.

As parents, we've talked a lot about how we'd handle tantrums and fussiness. We wouldn't be like other parents and give in to our child's demands. No way our child was getting what she wanted acting like that. Talk is cheap though. We've never had those hypothetical discussions at 11 o'clock at night with a screaming child, and all we want is sleep. That child could have a flying pony if she asked for it.

Don't get me wrong. Neither of us want to tolerate bad behavior or encourage bad habits, but there is a certain amount of compromise you have to make in unusual situations - like 4 people and a dog in a tiny hotel room. Sure kid, if it'll make you happy, snuggle in bed with Mommy and Daddy.

Where this all gets difficult is in public. Like I said, we don't want to encourage or allow tantrums. And when our child acts out, we want to stop it. However, both of us are so nervous to do anything other than talk calmly to Grace in those situations. This doesn't work because reasoning with a two-year-old, for those of you without a two-year-old, is impossible.

I'm not saying we want to spank. I'm saying we want to use a voice above a conversational volume with words that show displeasure with the behavior. But where's the line? Where's the balance? You don't want to overdo it and draw attention to your parenting. Having to defend your own behavior as a parent is not something I want to do. There are a lot of overly sensitive people out there and I may cross a line in their mind before I ever get close to my own. It's a whole new layer to parenting that's been added in the last generation or so.

But, we'll figure it out. And I'm sure our kids will turn out just fine, even as proud owners of flying ponies.

Well, these "On the Road" posts were supposed to be a travel log of sorts, and it seems that I've gone and detoured way off the highway. I'll be back in a couple days with a wrap up of days 5 and 6.

Dadalogue on the Road: Day 4

Two impressions about Arkansas:

It has nice roads and a weird fashion sense.

The highways were the quietest and smoothest I've seen on this trip. Road quality, especially after logging 2,000 miles in four days, is a big deal to me.

As for the fashion, I've never been somewhere where hunting camouflage is worn as a normal, daily article of clothing. Uggs and Realtree don't mix. Unless you live in Arkansas. I saw a lot of people in camouflage and not a lot of gun racks. Make fun of my polo shirts all you want, but suiting up like your going duck hunting and going anywhere else instead is just plain weird.

The kids did great today. After yesterday's outbursts and lack of sleep they were too tired to be bad. This worked out for me; I got a good hundred and fifty miles in before they started to stir. But even when both kids were awake, they seemed happy. It could be that they've resigned themselves to the reality that they're not going anywhere. The minivan is now their home, so they believe.

Actually, that's probably not too far from the truth. Besides overnights, we've been living out of it. It's our kitchen, living room, and changing station on wheels. Today certainly proved that to me. Like when I took Grace out of her car seat and noticed that she had amassed more varieties of food than a Chinese lunch buffet. I pulled out Cheerios, veggie sticks, mashed fruits, a tator tot, and the remnants of one of those veggie pouches just to name a few. We've eaten a lot of meals on the road.

With all this eating means our fair share of diaper changes. And when one doesn't exist at one of our rest stops, the driver seat has doubled as the changing station. Today I had the honor and privilege of cleaning up one of Timothy's trademark diaper blowouts. This one required about 50 wipes and a full wardrobe change. That's difficult enough as is, but as I'm trying to undress and clean him he's grabbing a hold of the steering wheel and pulling himself up. Poop was everywhere and all he wanted to do was drive.

I finally did get him cleaned up and was finishing putting him in new clothes when it suddenly started to rain. Hard. I'm standing outside the van, he's still squirming on the seat. I quickly jumped in, butt towards the steering wheel, hunched over him trying to get his onesie on. This didn't work out too well for me. But instead of helping, the Wife was laughing hysterically.

Yeah. Real funny.

That was the highlight of her day.

My highlight was our lunch stop in Memphis. We stopped at Tom's BBQ which was featured on Food Network a couple of times. I was really impressed. The food was amazing, as I expected it to be, but the service was what made it really special to me. 

When we showed up, Tom was coming in too. He held the door and thanked us for coming as we struggled with the kids and their dining accessories (portable highchair, diaper bag, Grace's blanket). Then, as I was paying, the cashier asked if this was our first time at Tom's. It was, so she told us she'd send out a special treat to our table. The special treat was a good-sized portion of their dry-rubbed ribs. Then, as we were leaving, we saw Tom outside again. I rolled down my window to tell him how much we enjoyed the meal. He asked us where we were headed, and told us the best way to get back to I-40. But the topper was that he then walked out into the middle of the very busy street to block oncoming traffic so we could get to the other side of the road. A pit master, gentleman, and traffic cop. I can't wait to go back.

The rest of the drive was uneventful, except for more rain. We're in Nashville now, which I'm pretty excited about. Tomorrow's drive is pretty short, so maybe we'll have a chance to do a little exploring. Or maybe I'll just sleep in.

Cincinnati bound ...

Dadalogue on the Road: Day 3

The kids finally snapped. I was hoping we'd have perfect little angels the whole way, but keeping them cooped up in car seats has finally done them in. Grace showed her ugly side - throwing a tantrum in McDonald's for lunch and a mini tantrum at the restaurant we ate at for dinner. We were that family today.

I know it's probably not as big of a deal as I'm making it out to be. As my level-headed wife points out, we'll never see those people again, our kids are weary from traveling, and they were nice enough to take a credit card to pay for all the damages.

Okay, I'm kidding on that last part. There were no damages, except for maybe my pride. I just want my two-year-old to instinctively understand how to behave in public. Pshaw to actually teaching her these things. My lack of tolerance for her behavior probably mostly stems from my exhaustion of being on the road and not so much on her actual actions.

In the minivan, things weren't much better than they were in the restaurants. Sure, the two little ones were restrained, but their crying in stereo was the perfect accompaniment to the rain from downpour I drove through the entire day. All 560 miles was done with my wipers whipping. The Wife, amazing as usual, sat in the cramped micro-seat between the two little ones - holding a teether for Timothy with one hand while reading a book to Grace with the other. She handled the situation and got me a few hours of quiet so I could concentrate on the road.

The only bright side of the day was that at least the rain wasn't the blizzard I was trying to out-drive. We left at 6:30 this morning so we wouldn't get stuck in this. We got several calls of concern wondering if we were some of those stranded motorists.

No. We're fine. I don't even think I could fathom what being stranded with Jekyll and Hyde would be like.

But, after a long day on the road, we're safely in a comfortable hotel room. Timothy is finally sleeping. He seems to be recovering well from the day's travels. For Grace, however, the night is young. She's free from her restraints. It may be 10 o'clock, but like a college freshman, that's when the night begins. It's time to party!

Pray for patience for the parents.

Dadalogue on the Road: Day 1

So, I was just standing outside in Flagstaff, Arizona waiting for our dog to pee. There's snow on the ground here. About four inches. I didn't know it snowed in Arizona. That's why I was in flip flops.

Lesson one of traveling cross country in winter: check the weather before leaving. Or at least have a selection of footwear handy and not buried deep inside a fully packed minivan.

I also learned that in Arizona people will do the "Adopt a Highway" program, and instead of promoting their business, they'll put a personal message like "Suzie, I will love u 4ever. - Bill" Who thinks that's romantic?

"Happy anniversary baby! I got you a trash-ridden three-mile stretch of I-10. Now go clean it."

People are weird.

Anywho, we're 500 miles into our trek across America, and so far there's nothing too significant to report. Both kids did well for being cooped up in car seats for 8 hours. Grace was the hardest to handle once we got to the hotel, really. She was full of the energy she couldn't release all day. Everything, especially the phone, was a toy.  She's pulled just about every tissue out of the dispenser. She jumped on the bed. She drew on the takeout menu. Timothy just chilled, as usual.

Tomorrow we'll make it as far as New Mexico. The Wife told me the town, but I forget how she pronounced it.

One final thought: Does anyone else easily get irritated prior to traveling? I know it's something I've got to work on. It must be the stress of making sure the car is packed (it's like playing level 500 on Tetris), nothing is forgotten (something usually is), and the house is properly secured (did we close the garage?) that shortens my fuse. My wife is a patient person to put up with pre-trip Brian. If I had to deal with me, I'd be pretty ticked. Once we're on the road though, I usually calm down.

Well, I'm off to bed. We'll be barreling east down the road early in the morning.