Dadalogue on the Road: Day 5

Thankfully, this was an easy day.  The night, once again, not so much.

We all slept in (including Timothy!), had a leisurely morning at the hotel, and got on the road by 11. We were in Cincinnati before dinner. Originally we had planned to make it all the way from Nashville to Grandma's house outside of Cleveland, but after several long days in the car another 12 hours in the car would have made us go completely nuts.

So with the extra day, it's only a four-hour drive before my grandma will get to see her great grandkids. She hasn't seen Grace since she was 6 months old, and she's never met Timothy, so I'm looking forward to that.

So about last night. It must be hotel rooms and the fact we are all in the same space that has made Grace a terror at night recently. It's late. We all want to sleep. We start our quiet time night routine, and she decides to freak out. It's a good thing this hotel was practically deserted because if anyone else heard her crying and screaming it probably would've warranted a visit from the cops - or worse - child protective services.

However, the only crime committed was Daddy was reading and singing to her, not Mommy. All she wanted was Mommy. Until Mommy held her. Then all she wanted was Daddy. We couldn't win, but we did eventually get her somewhat consoled, so we put her in her pack and play.

Bad idea. The screaming came back with a vengeance. Since there really was no one else around we decided to let her cry it out. Another bad idea. She has more endurance than we do plus it woke Timothy up. Twenty minutes later, into our bed she came. Finally, completely exhausted, she passed out between us.

As parents, we've talked a lot about how we'd handle tantrums and fussiness. We wouldn't be like other parents and give in to our child's demands. No way our child was getting what she wanted acting like that. Talk is cheap though. We've never had those hypothetical discussions at 11 o'clock at night with a screaming child, and all we want is sleep. That child could have a flying pony if she asked for it.

Don't get me wrong. Neither of us want to tolerate bad behavior or encourage bad habits, but there is a certain amount of compromise you have to make in unusual situations - like 4 people and a dog in a tiny hotel room. Sure kid, if it'll make you happy, snuggle in bed with Mommy and Daddy.

Where this all gets difficult is in public. Like I said, we don't want to encourage or allow tantrums. And when our child acts out, we want to stop it. However, both of us are so nervous to do anything other than talk calmly to Grace in those situations. This doesn't work because reasoning with a two-year-old, for those of you without a two-year-old, is impossible.

I'm not saying we want to spank. I'm saying we want to use a voice above a conversational volume with words that show displeasure with the behavior. But where's the line? Where's the balance? You don't want to overdo it and draw attention to your parenting. Having to defend your own behavior as a parent is not something I want to do. There are a lot of overly sensitive people out there and I may cross a line in their mind before I ever get close to my own. It's a whole new layer to parenting that's been added in the last generation or so.

But, we'll figure it out. And I'm sure our kids will turn out just fine, even as proud owners of flying ponies.

Well, these "On the Road" posts were supposed to be a travel log of sorts, and it seems that I've gone and detoured way off the highway. I'll be back in a couple days with a wrap up of days 5 and 6.

Dadalogue on the Road: Day 2

So here we are in ... Tucumcari, New Mexico.

I never heard of it either. The signs advertising this place would have you believe it's more than the Day's Inn, Pizza Hut and Shell station. Don't believe the hype.

Actually, that's all I've seen all day - hype. There are thousands of billboards all along I-40 hyping Navajo trinkets and rest stops disguised as "world famous" attractions. We could've stayed at "a motel Bob Hope once stayed at!" or experienced "the cleanest restroom facilities on I-40!" Once you actually pass these advertised spots, most are nothing more than a boarded up, dilapidated building. There's certainly no retail boon in New Mexico.

All those billboards are a shame for another reason too: They ruin views of the amazing vistas I imagine Wile E. Coyote to be lurking around in (I half expected to see him pull up beside us on an Acme rocket trying to chase down the Roadrunner).

Once again, the kids did pretty well for being cooped up in car seats all day. It certainly makes the day easier. It makes my stories lack the adventure and near-tragedy you all want, but I'll take that over eight hours of screaming any day.

We actually only had one moment of drama, and it was at the beginning of the drive.

It was snowing when we started out, and we thought we'd be stuck in that all day. Snow started to accumulate on the road, but by 30 minutes into the drive, the skies cleared and it was smooth sailing for us.

Tomorrow, we'll pass through the top part of Texas and stay over in Oklahoma. Until then ...

Dadalogue on the Road: Day 1

So, I was just standing outside in Flagstaff, Arizona waiting for our dog to pee. There's snow on the ground here. About four inches. I didn't know it snowed in Arizona. That's why I was in flip flops.

Lesson one of traveling cross country in winter: check the weather before leaving. Or at least have a selection of footwear handy and not buried deep inside a fully packed minivan.

I also learned that in Arizona people will do the "Adopt a Highway" program, and instead of promoting their business, they'll put a personal message like "Suzie, I will love u 4ever. - Bill" Who thinks that's romantic?

"Happy anniversary baby! I got you a trash-ridden three-mile stretch of I-10. Now go clean it."

People are weird.

Anywho, we're 500 miles into our trek across America, and so far there's nothing too significant to report. Both kids did well for being cooped up in car seats for 8 hours. Grace was the hardest to handle once we got to the hotel, really. She was full of the energy she couldn't release all day. Everything, especially the phone, was a toy.  She's pulled just about every tissue out of the dispenser. She jumped on the bed. She drew on the takeout menu. Timothy just chilled, as usual.

Tomorrow we'll make it as far as New Mexico. The Wife told me the town, but I forget how she pronounced it.

One final thought: Does anyone else easily get irritated prior to traveling? I know it's something I've got to work on. It must be the stress of making sure the car is packed (it's like playing level 500 on Tetris), nothing is forgotten (something usually is), and the house is properly secured (did we close the garage?) that shortens my fuse. My wife is a patient person to put up with pre-trip Brian. If I had to deal with me, I'd be pretty ticked. Once we're on the road though, I usually calm down.

Well, I'm off to bed. We'll be barreling east down the road early in the morning.