Dadalogue on the Road: Day 5

Thankfully, this was an easy day.  The night, once again, not so much.

We all slept in (including Timothy!), had a leisurely morning at the hotel, and got on the road by 11. We were in Cincinnati before dinner. Originally we had planned to make it all the way from Nashville to Grandma's house outside of Cleveland, but after several long days in the car another 12 hours in the car would have made us go completely nuts.

So with the extra day, it's only a four-hour drive before my grandma will get to see her great grandkids. She hasn't seen Grace since she was 6 months old, and she's never met Timothy, so I'm looking forward to that.

So about last night. It must be hotel rooms and the fact we are all in the same space that has made Grace a terror at night recently. It's late. We all want to sleep. We start our quiet time night routine, and she decides to freak out. It's a good thing this hotel was practically deserted because if anyone else heard her crying and screaming it probably would've warranted a visit from the cops - or worse - child protective services.

However, the only crime committed was Daddy was reading and singing to her, not Mommy. All she wanted was Mommy. Until Mommy held her. Then all she wanted was Daddy. We couldn't win, but we did eventually get her somewhat consoled, so we put her in her pack and play.

Bad idea. The screaming came back with a vengeance. Since there really was no one else around we decided to let her cry it out. Another bad idea. She has more endurance than we do plus it woke Timothy up. Twenty minutes later, into our bed she came. Finally, completely exhausted, she passed out between us.

As parents, we've talked a lot about how we'd handle tantrums and fussiness. We wouldn't be like other parents and give in to our child's demands. No way our child was getting what she wanted acting like that. Talk is cheap though. We've never had those hypothetical discussions at 11 o'clock at night with a screaming child, and all we want is sleep. That child could have a flying pony if she asked for it.

Don't get me wrong. Neither of us want to tolerate bad behavior or encourage bad habits, but there is a certain amount of compromise you have to make in unusual situations - like 4 people and a dog in a tiny hotel room. Sure kid, if it'll make you happy, snuggle in bed with Mommy and Daddy.

Where this all gets difficult is in public. Like I said, we don't want to encourage or allow tantrums. And when our child acts out, we want to stop it. However, both of us are so nervous to do anything other than talk calmly to Grace in those situations. This doesn't work because reasoning with a two-year-old, for those of you without a two-year-old, is impossible.

I'm not saying we want to spank. I'm saying we want to use a voice above a conversational volume with words that show displeasure with the behavior. But where's the line? Where's the balance? You don't want to overdo it and draw attention to your parenting. Having to defend your own behavior as a parent is not something I want to do. There are a lot of overly sensitive people out there and I may cross a line in their mind before I ever get close to my own. It's a whole new layer to parenting that's been added in the last generation or so.

But, we'll figure it out. And I'm sure our kids will turn out just fine, even as proud owners of flying ponies.

Well, these "On the Road" posts were supposed to be a travel log of sorts, and it seems that I've gone and detoured way off the highway. I'll be back in a couple days with a wrap up of days 5 and 6.

Dadalogue on the Road: Day 2

So here we are in ... Tucumcari, New Mexico.

I never heard of it either. The signs advertising this place would have you believe it's more than the Day's Inn, Pizza Hut and Shell station. Don't believe the hype.

Actually, that's all I've seen all day - hype. There are thousands of billboards all along I-40 hyping Navajo trinkets and rest stops disguised as "world famous" attractions. We could've stayed at "a motel Bob Hope once stayed at!" or experienced "the cleanest restroom facilities on I-40!" Once you actually pass these advertised spots, most are nothing more than a boarded up, dilapidated building. There's certainly no retail boon in New Mexico.

All those billboards are a shame for another reason too: They ruin views of the amazing vistas I imagine Wile E. Coyote to be lurking around in (I half expected to see him pull up beside us on an Acme rocket trying to chase down the Roadrunner).

Once again, the kids did pretty well for being cooped up in car seats all day. It certainly makes the day easier. It makes my stories lack the adventure and near-tragedy you all want, but I'll take that over eight hours of screaming any day.

We actually only had one moment of drama, and it was at the beginning of the drive.

It was snowing when we started out, and we thought we'd be stuck in that all day. Snow started to accumulate on the road, but by 30 minutes into the drive, the skies cleared and it was smooth sailing for us.

Tomorrow, we'll pass through the top part of Texas and stay over in Oklahoma. Until then ...

Van Love

I have a confession.

I love my minivan.

Weird, right?

I mean, what self-respecting man would ever say such a thing? Minivans are for soccer moms. Minivans aren't for Marines.

These were all thoughts that went through my head when The Wife and I started talking about a new vehicle. Our crossover wasn't going to cut it. As comfortable as it was for the three of us, there was no way to get two rear-facing car seats in it. "Knees in chest" is not my preferred driving style. We needed a baby hauler, a third row for any future additions, and space for the dog when he tags along. A minivan seemed to be the answer. But ... ick.

For years the minivan was a neglected vehicle class by automakers. It was on their lots for those who wanted function and didn't care about sexy. But today's car buyer wants sexy. Sex sells.

It took until 2011 for automakers to finally realized this. A few clever re-designs and funny ads later I - like many cool dads - was hooked. A minivan was the answer.

The salesman was a little surprised when I didn't want to take it out for a test drive, but really, who buys a minivan for its stellar handling? It's a minivan, not a Porsche.

The offer I did take him up on was the half-hour class about how to operate the features. What we wound up purchasing was a computer with four wheels. After learning about Bluetooth, touchscreens, back-up cameras, climate zones, and steering wheel controls I thought I was ready.

That is until I got home and started flipping through the owner's manual. I am not exaggerating when I say that 50 pages are dedicated to how to open, close, lock and unlock the doors. I'm only exaggerating a little when I say there's a trillion different ways to do all this. Each way relies on technology. Power sliding this, and abracadabra that. I don't even need to pull out a key to unlock the door. I just grab the handle and the van knows it's me. It cheerfully beeps and unlocks. Quite fancy. I'm not looking forward to the day after the warranty runs out. I'm not positive, but I'm guessing if that feature breaks it's gonna cost me a lot. I think if anything breaks, it's gonna cost me.

But in the meantime, I'm going to continue to love the comfortable ride, the space, and all the convenient features of my well-designed minivan. We dads no longer have to hang our heads in shame when we drive around.

We can drive with our dignity restored!

We can finally be proud! 

We can give each other little waves when we pass each other, like Jeep owners and motorcycle riders!

That might be going a bit too far.

But I love my minivan, and I'm not afraid to admit it.